Real Gurls Get Down on da Flo'

I’ve decided ladies and gentleman that I am going to take out a want ad. Now before you start thinking to yourself, dang is it that hard out there for a pimp?, do not be troubled I’m not taking out one for a man. Upon reviewing my weekly excursions, it has come to my attention that I need to find a group of girls who like to go out!!! This was made very clear to me by what happened when I went on Friday night.

This past Friday, was my girl Cornball’s birthday {Her name speaks for itsel}. So, a few weeks ago she sent out a message letting everyone know that she wanted to hang out for her birthday, which was perfect because it landed on a Friday. The initial plan was to have a sleepover, which eventually fell threw. However, we decided that we were going to go out and hit the club. Sounds fun right? I thought so until I realized that instead, most people just wanted to go out to dinner and obviously had better things to do because only three of us went out. Well, three people can kick it so we got ready and out we went.

Upon entering the club, we noticed that there weren’t as many people there as usual, but there was still a decent crowd and people were still coming in. We immediately made our way to the bar, then decided to scope out the scene. So we walked around for a few moments and found a nice location to post up, making ourselves readily available for any young brotha willing to step his game up.

I must interject this funny story:

Okay yal, the club we went to is really a scene for the older crowd. However, the twenty-something promoters sponsor this particular weekend. However, the middle aged (and I mean middle 40-55) still attend the event. There is one man who is still stuck in the seventies but likes to juke it out in 2006. He proudly wears his shoulder length jerry curl and plaid two piece outfits, while crip-walking and droppin’ it like it’s hot. Well, I made the mistake of pointing at him, in laughter, so I guess he thought that we found him interesting. So do you know this cock-blocking fool started to dance right in front of us. Then kept looking at us, smiling waiting for one of us to join him. So after a few minutes and prospects later, Cornball interjected with this snappy comment, “Do you plan on standing in front of us all night. We’re not going to dance with you!!!” I don’t’ know how I kept my laughter in…… End

So after Cornball went off, we decided to go out onto the outside patio. On our way, I noticed a very fine looking young man talking to one of my boys, YES!!!! So as my girls went and sat down I told them that I’d be right back cuz I was going to go speak. So of course, I glide over there not only to talk to him but see what’s up with his boy. So he introduces us and we start talking. Now a few moments have passed and I have yet to return. Hell I forgot them heifers was still alive, until he asked me “Where ya girls at?” “Oh they somewhere around here,” I said waving my hands in every direction. A few seconds later they came over and said they were going back inside to find some seats.

Do you know I was out there for about another twenty minutes. So finally, we decided that we’d go inside and try to find my them. In the meantime, my number one kick it buddy was in the place to be, Mr. Can’t stop won’t stop. So I was definitely in the mood to party. Well, I need glasses cuz I didn’t find them and was not in the mood to strain my retinas looking for them either. Another twenty minutes later I finally found them and went to the dancefloor with Cornball. Smiley, our other party goer, was still sitting down. Didn’t she pay to get in too, she’s not getting her monies worth. So after we danced, I decided to go back and look for my gentleman friend and his boys. Cornball followed suite. So as soon, as we get over to the bar where they were, she says she’s about to go sit down. SIT DOWN!!! I just don’t get it, we were in the perfect situation to pal around and meet some new people and this lonely heifer talking bout sitting down. I completely gave up on the situation and remained at the bar with the boys for the remainder of the evening. My new friend left before I did, so it was me and Can’t Stop until my girls decided to join us. Now them wenches want to party, hell we can go now!!

When we go out this tends to be what usually happens. Most times, I end up waiting for Can’t Stop and the rest of my crew{that consists totally of males, except for myself} to arrive so we can start doing our thang. But yal, I’m tired of that. I mean I love my boys to the death, but sometimes I wished I could turn them into girls for at least one weekend so I’m not always totally consumed with testosterone. Also, if I’m with some girls I won’t have to keep apologizing for my boys drunken behavior, they are truly a mess.
So here’s my Want Ad:

NEEDED:
24 yr. old female seeking group of young ladies, preferably between the ages of 24-29 who like to go out and have fun. When out, sitting down is only allowed for increments of ten minutes unless you are mingling with a person of the opposite sex or the DJ just ain’t playin’ your song {No couch potatoes!}.
UNACCEPTABLE EXCUSE for not going out:
1. MY HAIR AIN’T DONE {Gel and Weave}
2. I AIN’T GO NO MONEY {Blockbuster ain’t free}
3. I’VE BEEN WORKING HARD ALL WEEK {Ok, now it’s time to relax}
4. I DON’T LIKE THAT CLUB {Start being open-minded}
5. I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR {You must, because you don’t go out so I’m sure you’ve got something NOBODY has seen}
It is okay to use one of the aforementioned excuses at least once a month, but not every weekend, other than your birthday when you are more than willing to become a party animal.

Well there it is, probably needs a little tweeking, but I’m not a pro at these {maybe when I work my way to my third cat I’ll get better at them}!!! But yal get my drift. For those of you wondering where I got that picture{party}, that’s my boy “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop” in the orange super crunk as usual. Hey Buttercup, Wub Yu