The Shoulda Coulda Woulda Ooda Booda

THE MOMENT IN BETWEEN

Welcome to my Saturday afternoon. My mind was in a thousand places, not only was I trying to get things together for a surprise party, I was trying to keep it from the birthday boy. So I’m sitting around chumming it up with one of my homies, when the all too familiar “beep beep” of my text message alert rang out. So I flip the phone open and read, “Am I invited to the party?? Haha” As I removed the scrunched looked from my face I began to think of the ways in which I could answer this ridiculous question. So I finally decided that I didn’t have time to worry about this tom foolery and simply replied, “you will have to make the judgment call on that.” Ya see, don’t be fooled by the ha ha. It was meant as a ha ha, I know about the party and haha, I know why I wasn’t invited. So once again, I hear the now unwanted T-mobile jingle, flip open the phone and read, “Well damn” I was like I know “Lonely on a Saturday night” is not trying to act like I hurt her feelings. And then I started to think about it, the moment. You know the moment where you can be the friend someone wants you to be or the friend you need to be. See, “Lonely” probably would’ve liked me to say, girl I figured you probably wouldn’t want to go or did you want to go? knowing damn well that ain’t a good idea. That is the “friend I want you to be” answer (and the reason why I didn’t say she probably wouldn’t want to go is because she was never going to be and didn’t need to be invited!!!! So that was never an option)

Now from time to time I have been labeled a meanie, only because I was being the friend I should’ve been and not the one they wanted me to be. Where do we draw the line? Should we draw the line? Why is it that people want their friends to lie to them about the smallest things? Why is it people ask you questions that if they were to ask themselves, and truthfully answer, they wouldn’t like even what they have to say? Nonetheless, day to day we push people to the limits, placing them in the in between. “Lonely” know good and damn well why she was not informed about the party. There was no need, plain and simple. Now I don’t think I was mean to the poor child, I could have brought up why she din’t need to go, I didn’t do that, no need to get ugly. Heck, I didn’t even say she couldn’t go. All I said was you make the judgment call, I just didn’t say what she wanted me to say. Is that being a bad friend? I put the ball in her court, hell you know the reason, tell it to yourself, why you trying to get me to do it!!

So to all my friends out there, whenever you find yourself stuck in a moment with me, be the friend you should be (I'm hoping I don't put you in one). Tell the truth, don’t sugarcoat it or try and protect my feelings. If I ask you a ridiculous question that puts you in a awkward position, tell me the answer to the question no matter what that is. If you think I’m being stupid, let me know. If you think it’s a bad idea, give me a better one. That doesn’t make you mean or a bad friend. To me, it just means you truly consider me your friend becase you are willing to tell me things you know i don't want to hear. So people be careful, because the person who doesn't speak their mind and tells you to go in directions you might not need to go, may be more of an enemy than a friend.

So I guess what I’m saying is with me( and it should go for everyone) there are no shoulda, coulda, or woulda’s, wit me it’s just what it is homie. And to "Lonely on a Saturday night," next time you put yourself in a postion to have your hand dealt to you, you just might get it.

PIGGYBACK

The idea from this blog came from my boy Jorge Mateo whose whimsical thoughts can be seen at http://jorgemateo.blogspot.com. Hence the name piggyback. Now I would like to take some time out to discuss, yes indeedy ladies and gentleman, the things we say during sex. Or might I add the things we should henceforth refrain from saying during sex. Through casual conversations amongst friends of both sexes, I have come to the realization that talking during sex is not as exciting, exhilarating and enticing as one might think.

For starters, are the men. Before you ask “Whose pussy is this?” did you ever stop and think that, it might not be yours. I mean let’s be honest. For one, she probably has a man and you probably know it. And is it all that important that it’s YOURS?? I thought all that mattered was busting a good one and getting home in time to call your lady, ha!! Or before you say “Take It” after which you bite your bottom lip as if to say, “I know you want it,” did you ever take a glance at what it is you are giving her. I mean for some brothers the aforementioned phrase is acceptable, but not for all of you. Because nine times out of ten, your partner is thinking of a way not to let her thoughts run across her face. The same as when you entered her in the first place and she tried to hide the fact that she was trying to figure out if it had actually made its way in. You know ladies, the, is that his thumb, because SURELY NOT HIS!!!!!(You motherf&*#$)%.) Also all the commentary is not necessary. We don’t need to hear every ten seconds, “ooh yeah girl ride it,” or “damn your pussy feels good,” etc, etc. Brothas, it’s nice to know that we’re doing a good job, it really is. But, the question you need to ask yourself is, are YOU, key word you, doing a good job. I mean no lady wants to hear all this unless you’ve successfully planted your flag at the top her mountain, ya dig.

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, shut the hell up. (This one’s for you TAKEOVER). Ladies let’s remember that not all men like to hear profanity while you ride him into ecstasy. It kinda spoils the moment. No man wants to almost be there, ya know THERE, and yo trifling ass spouts out even things that would make the devil say DAMN. No man wants to look at the beautiful creature, I hope you are, and instead of seeing your lovely face, somehow he sees Emily Rose. So ladies let’s try to keep it clean. And if you don’t want him to treat you like a slut, let’s not repeat those things you saw while watching GhettoBlackDivas ok. Those are not the women that men are taking home to meet their mamma. Just learn the technique and focus on emulating the moves. Now I will tell you a story. While sitting quietly in my friend’s apartment, over the television and the occasion female banter, was a faint noise. Now we couldn’t understand where it was coming from, so we turned down the television. Slowly as we reached deeply into our minds trying to tune in on our surroundings, we pulled a Ray Charles, we realized that it was coming from the apartment under us. NO SHE DIDN’T. Ladies, you WILL NOT moan like that, you just will not. For one, both of his roommates were home and quite frankly standing in the hall staring at each other with their mouths on the ground. Secondly, this went on for a while not only in time but she did it every time they had sex. Every stroke is not, I repeat, not that wonderful, you need to calm down, IMMEDIATELY. And now every time I see the girl, I be like, damn you have no shame. You should have some shame. Then, for about two weeks me and my girls sat around like, ok no for real, which one of us is down to see what the real deal about ole boy is. SIDEBAR: I will not lie, I was tempted. Thank you Jesus for leading me back to you.
Now don’t be discouraged from giving positive feedback the occasional, vocal high five. But let’s try and keep it to a minimum and only focus on the one thing that matters, the love. NOT!!!! Refer to jorgemateo.
Also check out the ever so insightful Britt-Britt at http://starving4attention.blogspot.com
Hope you all enjoyed my blog. It’s me first time, yes I’m a virgin, tee hee hee. So I hope it doesn’t majorly suck. END

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8 am
2. Diamonds or pearls?Prince said I could have both
3. What was the last film you saw?Underworld:Evolution
4. What was the last TV program you watched? The Today Show
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning?Krispy Kreme Doughnut
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Italian- Pizza and Lasagna baby!!!
7. What foods do you dislike? Anything I didn't eat before the age of five, including CHICKEN
8. What is your favorite chip flavor?Cheetos, wait do those count as chips??
9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? Dwele- Some Kinda….
10. What kind of car do you drive?2000 Nissan Altima, Thanks Dad.
11. Favorite sandwich? Why a Sandwich?.
12. What characteristics do you despise? Close-mindedness
13. Favorite item of clothing? My Jesus is Coming… Look Busy Tee
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Italy
15. What color is your bathroom?Has a very Indie feel to it, Green, purple, pink and yellow (few other splashes here and there)
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Laundry by Shelli Segal
17. Where would you like to retire? Who cares as long as I don’t have to go to work.
18. Favorite time of the day? Lunch time. No, seriously. It is.
19. What was your most memorable birthday?This year when I go to Toronto for Caribanna
20. Where were you born?Illinois21. Favorite sport to watch? Football and Cheerleading Competitions(for the record that is a sport)
21 What fabric detergent do you use?Kind in the clear bottle that comes in pretty colors and cool smells
22. Named after anyone?My middle name is from my aunt. No wait, actually my mother’s friend named her daughter Leslie and for some reason my mother thought that would be a good idea. THINK AGAIN MOTHER!!!
22. Do you wish on stars?Can’t say that I do.
23. When did you last cry?I saw something mildly depressing on television the other night2
24 Do you like your handwriting?Seeing as though I can’t write in cursive, I’d have to say no.
25. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?who wouldn’t want to be friends with the coolest chick on the planet, duh. Next question
26. Are you a daredevil?afraid of heights, large bodies of water and and and.
27. Do looks matter?the answer should be no, but I do want to have kids one day.
28. How do you release anger?
WRITE and think of my baby Daisha, she makes me happy
29. Where is your second home?Although I live in Nashville, it’s my second home. I’ll always be from the Chi or Richton Park for all those haters out there, it’s still in Cook County so lay off.
30. What were your favorite toys as a child?Teddy Rupskin.
31. What class in High School was totally useless? All of them, but the fact that I got honors credit for gym class was a little extreme
32. Do you use sarcasm a lot?people who don’t aren’t intelligent enough
33. Favorite movies?The Sound of Music, Love Jones and American Beauty
34. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?Slide them on and off cuz I tuck my laces in my shoes
35. Do you think that you are strong?Strong enough not to have jumped off a ledge yet.
36. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Dulce de Leche for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a fancy way of saying caramel
37. What are your favorite colors? Green, Pink and Purple
38. Who or what do you miss the most? My sister, who is far far away
39. What color pants are you wearing?black jeans
40. What are you listening to right now?Raphael Saadiq’s Instant Vinstage
41. If you were a CRAYON what color would you be?Thistle, thought it was the coolest name for a shade of purple
42. Last person you talked to on the phone? Sherlyn
43. Favorite Drink?Vanilla Stoley and Cranberry
44. Do you wear contacts?I actually need glasses very badly, don’t want to wear them and scared contacts will poke my eyes out
45. Favorite Day(s) of the YearNone really
46. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy.
47.Summer or winter?Fall, I know it wasn't an option but I make the rules, really i dont't
48.What Is Your Favorite Dessert? German Chocolate Cake
49. What Book(s) Are You Reading? Soledad Brother
50. Favorite Smells?Gasoline
51. Farthest you've everbeen from home? Australia